Welcome to the first day of Restored Vows. We hope and pray that this is another step towards restoration in your marriage.

This is a two-week challenge. It’s designed to help get you thinking deeply about your past and how that impacts current porn use, as well as how your behaviors affect each...

Today Brandon shared the story of how he first became addicted to porn. Spoiler alert: it’s a pretty common one!

Like many people, Brandon was first shown pornography in childhood. In The Porn Phenomenon, a study conducted by the Barna Group in 2016, 49% of teens ages 13-17 accidentally came acr...

Today, Brandon reflected on the moment when he realized that viewing porn and masturbating were sinful. He wanted to be free of that guilt. As a Catholic, he went to Confession, which he thought would end his porn usage, but he quickly learned he was wrong. Instead of finding freedom when he conf...

Today, Brandon and Tonia discussed how years of porn use impacted his dating relationships and how it eventually escalated into a sexual relationship with one of his girlfriends.

It’s important to understand this: porn use escalates. It changes you neurochemically— you become hardwired to respon...

In today’s video, Tonia entered the scene! By the time she and Brandon started dating, Brandon had already developed a bit of a reputation for his porn use and his sexual activity. But since he was honest when she asked him point-blank about it, Tonia figured she could work through his porn use. ...

In today’s video, Tonia dug deeper into how Brandon’s porn use caused her to experience betrayal trauma.

Now, “betrayal trauma” is kind of a heavy word—an “I survived a war zone” or an “I was in a horrific accident that left physical and mental scars” sort of word. It should be a scary term for ...

One of the most important practical steps to recover from betrayal trauma is to create boundaries. Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend describe a boundary as a personal property line, the line where you end and someone else begins. A boundary defines what is your responsibility (your feelings, ...

Today Brandon and Tonia talked through the detox process and how it impacted them both.

For Brandon, detoxing took a toll on him physically in ways he didn’t expect. He was no longer getting the same chemical rushes that he had trained his body to crave, and as a result he had emotional flare-up...

Today Brandon and Tonia talked through the three stages of recovery from betrayal trauma. These stages are not always linear, just as the stages of grief are not always linear, but almost every partner experiencing betrayal trauma will undergo them.

Impact Phase

- Partners will try to understan...

Today, Brandon and Tonia discussed the role counseling played in their marriage. For Tonia, it was a breath of fresh air—a safe place to let out all of her emotions. When Brandon saw how it was helping her, he began to realize that it wasn’t just for people who couldn’t fix things themselves, nor...

Brandon and Tonia’s relationship finally took a permanent turn for the better when they attended a weekend intensive called Retrouvaille (https://www.helpourmarriage.org/). Today, they shared several key takeaways.

First, they mentioned the importance of “I” statements, removing “you” statements...

Today, Tonia talked about how she learned to start trusting Brandon again.

Before recovery could begin, Brandon had to realize just how far he had fallen, and how much hurt he had caused. He had to learn to stop looking away from the pain Tonia was experiencing. Once he realized the extent of th...

We’re almost to the end of Restored Vows! Today, Brandon dug deeper into what he did to intentionally pursue Tonia to get to where they are today—a stronger marriage than ever.

Perhaps the most important step was that Brandon spent time wrestling with what it would mean for him to lay down his l...

Today is the last day of Restored Vows… but your journey as a couple continues. Today Brandon and Tonia reminded you both of a few lessons you’ve learned over the last two weeks.

First, remember to start and end your day in prayer—both of you. Keep your hearts and minds aligned with Christ Jesus...